[HCoop-Discuss] local advocacy

[docelic]

On Mon, Apr 28, 2008 at 12:26:58PM +1000, David Crawshaw wrote:
> 
> True. I've uploaded a new version, with less text and better points.

Here are a couple more ideas David, looking at your new PDF:

1) When you mention AFS, you could say OpenAFS, so that people can 
specifically look it up on the web.

2) When you say that the data can be accessed by ssh, webdav and ftp, 
also say that (with an AFS client) they can access the files as if it
was a local directory on their machine. (/afs/hcoop.net/.... )

3) Also in the first bullet, the second sentence "Host static..." seems
awkward because Host appears as a noun, until you figure out it's really
a verb. (Solution proposed under point 6.).

4) Add something like "Fixed" or "Flat" to the second bullet "$5 a month"?

5) Replace "the co-op keeps it online" with "we keep it online"? (More
direct, otherwise it seems like you're a 3rd party advertiser).
Also, it could be reworded like "... means you create the content, we
keep it online and accessible".

6) "For power users". Move that to position #2 in the list? That way you 
can remove the "host static... and run your own daemons" from the first
bullet completely, and say that in bullet #2. (Which you already do - 
you have some redundancy in #1 and #4).

7) "Custom open source software" sounds a bit strange.. Would something
like "Custom-developed open source software" be a little bit better?
(Anyone got a better idea?)

8) Democratic: how about saying (something like):
Members are given voting rights and each year elect 3 of 5 Board members
to steer the co-op in the upcoming year? (Nathan, adamc: can you phrase
it better?). (A link to our official bylaws at http://wiki.hcoop.net/HcoopBylaws
could be good if it doesn't take too much space).

9) Last bullet, "Professional hosting" should be moved to position #4
if you've embraced the idea of technical-features-first. The "hosting"
should be replaced with "colocation", since that's what Peer1 provides.


Cya,
-doc